Divorce with a narcissist

Games Narcissists Play During Divorce

Ever wondered what games narcissists play during a divorce? Find out the sneaky tactics they use to manipulate and control the situation. Don’t fall victim to their schemes – arm yourself with knowledge and protect your rights.

Based on legal documents, narcissists often play games during divorce like manipulation, gaslighting, and seeking sympathy to gain advantages in court proceedings.

These tactics can prolong the divorce process, drain resources, and cause emotional distress to the other party.

Manipulation tactics

They might make their partner question their own sense of reality by twisting the truth. By acting like the victim, they blame their partner and dodge responsibility for what they’ve done. Narcissists might also spread false stories to ruin their partner’s reputation.

Another method they use is love bombing, where they shower their partner with affection to regain control or trick them into taking them back. It seems that, they might also use guilt trips, acting like they’re the ones suffering from the divorce to make their partner feel sorry for them.

Narcissists could drag out the legal process on purpose to wear their partner down emotionally and financially. They might also use children to manipulate, adjusting custody or visitation to keep control over their ex-spouse.

Gaslighting

Gaslighting is when someone twists the truth to make another person doubt their own reality. This can include denying events, blaming the other person, or making them feel like they are overreacting or going crazy. It can be subtle and hard to notice because the person doing it might downplay, trivialize, or avoid taking responsibility for their actions. By making the victim question their own thoughts and memories, the person doing the gaslighting gains control over them.

When all is said and done, this can harm the victim’s mental health, making them feel confused, anxious, and alone. Gaslighting is a type of emotional abuse that is hard to get away from because the abuser may use manipulation, guilt, or dismissiveness to maintain control. It’s important for the victim to find support from friends, family, or a therapist to recognize gaslighting and break free from it, especially during a divorce.

Blame shifting

Let me explain, narcissists often play a game called blame-shifting. This means they blame their partner for relationship problems, even if they are the ones at fault. By doing this, they avoid taking any responsibility for the breakup.

They might also use gaslighting to make their partner doubt their own feelings and perceptions. They twist the situation to make themselves look like the victim and their partner like the bad guy. This helps them avoid facing their own mistakes. Frankly, blame-shifting can hurt the other partner, causing confusion and self-doubt. It can also make it harder for them to move on and heal from the divorce.

If you’re with a narcissist, it’s important to see these games for what they are and not blame yourself. Getting support from friends, family, or a therapist can help you get through this tough time. Setting clear boundaries with the narcissist and focusing on self-care can also help you deal with the challenges of divorcing a manipulative partner.

Emotional abuse

Basically, they might manipulate their partner, making them question their own thoughts and feelings. Narcissists could also insult and criticize their partner, making them feel worthless. They often use guilt to get what they want, playing on their partner’s emotions. Narcissists might stop talking altogether, leaving their partner feeling lost and abandoned.

As far as I’m concerned, they often act like they are the ones who are hurt to gain sympathy from others. Sometimes, they involve other people to stir up trouble. They might withhold love and intimacy as a form of punishment or control.

Wife and husband having a fight

Financial control

This can mean not giving enough money for basic needs like housing, food, or childcare. They might also hide or change assets to avoid paying their fair share. By controlling the money, narcissists can make their ex-partner feel dependent and scared. This makes it hard for the victim to stand up for themselves during the divorce.

Narcissists might also threaten financial ruin to scare their ex-partner into unfair deals or giving up rights. This can make the divorce longer and more emotionally painful.

Summing it All Up

Considering earlier points, navigating a divorce with a narcissist can be extremely challenging due to the manipulation and games they often play.

What TheBostonDivorceLawyers is recommending to stay away from is, from gaslighting to using the court system to their advantage, it is important to protect yourself and seek support during this difficult time. Remember to prioritize your own well-being and seek professional help if needed.

References

  1. “Games People Play: The Basic Handbook of Transactional Analysis” by Eric Berne, Ballantine Books, 1973.
  2. “Divorce Poison: How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing” by Richard A. Warshak, Regan Books, 2010.
  3. “Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder” by Bill Eddy and Randi Kreger, New Harbinger Publications, 2011.

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