The court will take on three cases this session, and their rulings could help clarify the law. Questions that the court needs to deal with include:
One of the cases involves a man who has been paying $200 per week to his ex-wife since 1992. He is no retired and says he shouldn't have to pay alimony. His ex says that the new law does not apply to their divorce.
According to at least one law professor, there are elements of the new law that could be interpreted to mean that it was to be applied retroactively.
Whatever the court decides, the ruling is sure to be closely watched by other states where alimony reform laws have either recently passed or are pending.
]]>Parents, whether married, divorced or separated, who take a child away from the other parent are almost certainly violating the law in Massachusetts or anywhere else in the United States. Generally speaking, the taking of a child by one parent is considered parental kidnapping after considering the legal status of the parent who takes the child; the court orders governing child custody; and the intent of the parent who took the child.
Taking a child does not usually involve stealing into the house in the dead of night and climbing down a ladder with the child. It can be much simpler. Typically, one parent does not return the child as agreed after a visit or vacation that was part of the parenting plan.
Even when you know that the other parent took the child, getting him or her back is not always easy. This is especially true when the parent flees to another country. The laws regarding child custody and parenting differ in each country. The U.S. State Department maintains an office that parents can call upon to learn about the law in the destination country and get help locating the child.
Kidnapping is the ultimate result of a child custody dispute. In most cases, the parent doing the kidnapping is not thinking about the welfare of the child but of his or her own ego and feelings bruised by the breakup of the relationship or marriage. In a few instances, of course, removing a child from an abusive parent is the only option. In most cases, however, this can be done legally through the Probate and Family Court system.
]]>Take, for example, a story reported in The Boston Globe. A Chelmsford man whose wife had informed him that she intended to divorce him was accused of hiring a hit man to kill his wife. Unfortunately, the so-called hit man was an undercover state trooper and he was arrested last Friday.
According to the charges, he tried to pay $20,000 to have his wife killed. He subsequently asked the state trooper/hit man to beat up his wife so she would be unable to attend a court hearing. Earlier this summer, he damaged both his wife's car and some neighbors' cars. He allegedly watched his wife's apartment from the nearby forest, wearing a ski mask and using binoculars.
The man faces charges of soliciting a felony, attempted assault, witness intimidation and violation of a restraining order. He is being held without bail until his first hearing October 21. There is no record of domestic violence in the marriage prior to this summer.
Although this kind of behavior may seem like a not-so-good movie plot, it has been studied extensively by medical and law enforcement professionals. At least one psychiatrist has characterized is as "malignant divorce" in a 2011 article in the magazine Psychology Today. In the article, the doctor analyzed the types of actions that can make a challenging time much more difficult. His categories include truly crazy or drug addicted ex-spouses and those with stress-induced personality disorders.
According to a study released in April 2014 by the Department of Justice, intimate partner violence was greatest between partners who were separated, as was the case with the Chelmsford couple. It is possible that the man's behavior after his wife announced her intention to divorce him was not so strange, after all.
]]>These are the numbers offered by the Census Bureau about child custody. What about child support?
Readers should be aware that these numbers represent averages, and each family's situation is different. There is also regional variation, and what is true for Boston, Massachusetts may not be the case for Montgomery, Alabama.
]]>Some of the information includes material on the following subjects
--Constitutional rights
--States' definitions of 'father'
--Paternity registries
--Alternative means of establishing paternity
--Required information
--Revocation of claim
--Access to information
--Summaries of state laws
One of the features of the website is a listing of each state's laws related to the rights of unmarried fathers. The Massachusetts statute related to the rights of fathers can be found at Ann. Laws Ch. 209C, § 6. To summarize:
]]> A man is presumed to be the father of a child if:--If he was married to the mother when the child was born or within 300 days after the marriage ended because of divorce, annulment or death
--If he married or tried to marry the mother and the child was born during the attempted marriage or within 300 days after the marriage ended because of divorce, annulment or death
--If he married or attempted to marry the child's mother after the child's birth and he agreed to support the child with a written promise; or engaged in any other conduct that could be interpreted as an acknowledgement of paternity
--If while the child was a minor he jointly with the mother received the child into their home and made it known that the child was their child
--He acknowledged paternity in a parental responsibility claim and the mother did not object
There are alternate ways to establish paternity under Massachusetts law, described in Ann. Laws Ch. 209C, §§ 2 and 11; Ann. Laws Ch. 210, § 4A.
As the number of children born to unmarried mothers in the United States has grown to at least 40 percent every year since 2008, fathers have been challenging the termination of their parental rights when a birth mother gave up a child for adoption. The U.S. Supreme Court has found that the existence of a biological link between a man and his child gives him the ability to establish a "substantial relationship" with that child. This is a significant change, as historically men did not have the same rights as did mothers.
]]>About a third of families have two parents working outside the home- that's more than any other type of family. But that means that two-thirds of U.S. families have other arrangements. What are they?
]]> According to a study conducted by Philip Cohen at the University of Maryland, there have been three big changes in family life in the past 50 years. And it's not only the disappearance of 1950s families as portrayed in TV shows. It's also a 20 percent decline in families headed by two married parents, the growth in the number of women in the paid workforce, and what the article calls the "stew" of blended, remarried and co-habiting families.Female-headed households, whether the women are divorced, widowed or never married, are almost as common as families with a stay-at-home mother and a father who earns the family's income. But there are enough other types of families that Cohen was able to make a chart reflecting all the possibilities:
In short, there is no such thing as a typical family anymore. Divorce, working mothers, decline in marriage rates and other social phenomena have contributed to a much more varied array of family arrangements.
]]>Attorney Craig Paster, an experienced family law attorney with Pollack Law Group, P.C., reminds divorced parents to make the extra effort to stay active in children's lives as they head back to school.
With summer winding down, many children are heading back to school. This means divorced parents, especially non-custodial parents, may not see their children as often as they did in recent months. So it's important to make an extra effort to stay involved in their daily lives.
]]> Start by contacting the principal or guidance department at your child's school. Let the school know you have joint legal custody and you expect to be kept up to date with how your son or daughter is doing. Do not rely on your former spouse to keep you informed, especially if you have a contentious relationship.It's also important to reach out to your child's teacher or team of teachers to follow up on how things are going in the classroom. Ask that you be notified of any issues or concerns that come up so that you can address them immediately, rather than waiting until they get out of control. Make sure to attend the school's open house or parent-teacher conferences so they can meet you in person and put a face to the name. Also try to attend as many school events as possible, whether holiday parties, class plays, science fairs or other presentations. Don't let the custodial parent prevent you from being actively involved in your child's education and participating in events at your child's school.
If your son or daughter participates in sports or other extracurricular activities, do your best to attend the games or events. If you can't make it, call your child afterwards to talk with him or her about it. Don't forget to ask your child about his or her friends and other activities he or she may be involved with. Speaking regularly with your child is very important, especially when you cannot see them on a regular basis.
Children grow up quickly, so it's important to make every effort to keep up to date on what they are doing. Just because the summer is over and you may not see your child as much, doesn't mean you can't stay involved. Follow the tips above to help ensure that you remain actively involved in your child's life.
About Attorney Craig J. Paster
Craig Paster is an attorney with Pollack Law Group, P.C. A graduate of the University of Massachusetts-Boston and New England Law, he is licensed to practice law in Massachusetts. He also is a licensed Massachusetts Real Estate agent. He can be reached by calling 617-894-9895 or by email at CPaster@ThePLGFirm.com.
About Pollack Law Group, P.C.
Pollack Law Group, P.C., represents clients throughout New England on divorce, family law, criminal defense, bankruptcy, personal injury and other legal matters. The firm includes more than two dozen attorneys, paralegals and other staff, working from 20 offices and client meeting locations throughout the region. PLG corporate headquarters are located at 304 Turnpike Road, Southborough, MA, 01772. For more information, call 844-POLLACK or visit www.pollacklawgroup.com
]]>But exactly how much will it cost? Unfortunately, it's almost impossible to state a figure because there are so many variables, except in cases that fit the scenario above. One rule of thumb is that it costs as much to divorce as it cost to get married in the first place. Of course, if you had a very small, informal wedding, that cost is probably going to be less than the cost of your divorce. However, it's one way of looking at it.
]]> Let's dig deeper into the cost of divorce. What are the big expenses?Legal fees are usually the biggest cost of divorce. These can vary enormously, even if you don't fit into the no-children, no-property category. If you have children and properly but have agreed on everything before each of you has called a lawyer, your costs are going to be much less than those couples who have the same number of children, the same incomes and the same amount of property as you, BUT are fighting about everything.
The cost of asking attorneys to help resolve questions such as who gets the kids at Thanksgiving in three years or which one of you gets to keep the family dog can be shockingly high. Attorneys in Massachusetts, especially in Boston, bill at higher rates than attorneys nationally. According to Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly, the average partner in a Boston law firm charged $598.69 per hour in 2012; associates billed at $388.21. If this gives you sticker shock, be glad you are not in New York, where rates are much higher.
This does not mean that every family law attorney will charge you this for a divorce. Outside of Boston, rates are less. There are some law firms who have payment plans or who charge flat fees for divorces, even in matters where some issues are contested.
The cost of divorce is not limited to attorney's fees. There are also court costs, the cost of parent education classes, the expense of copying documents, hiring expert witness in child custody and financial disputes and mediation costs. If you end up selling property such as the marital home, you will need to pay for the cost of recording the deed, additional attorney's fees, the agent's commission and other expenses associated with real estate transactions.
In other words, divorce can be very expensive. How can you keep the costs down? An article last year in the Huffington Post outlined some of the ways you prevent divorce from leaving you feeling that you are one pay check away from homelessness. Here are some of the suggestions:
--Don't drag it out. The longer it takes for your divorce to become final, the more you will pay. The less you fight, the easier it will be to act fast and get it over with. Fighting costs money.
--Use mediation if possible to resolve differences - it's usually less expensive than arguing in court or at an attorney's conference table.
--Find an attorney who has a creative approach to billing such as a flat-fee arrangement or one who accepts payments over time. Even if you can't keep the total cost down, you won't have to pay it all at once if you can stretch out your payments.
Of course, the best way to keep the cost of divorce down is to have a pre-nuptial agreement that details matters such as property division and other frequently-contested issues. Unfortunately, you can't turn the clock back and get a pre-nup just before calling the divorce lawyer.
]]>Massachusetts family law attorney Diana Sladen says divorced parents may have legal recourse if a former spouse refuses to contribute to a child's college education
Your baby has grown up and is heading off to college and the tuition bill is due. If you are divorced, who is footing the bill? Well, that depends how you addressed higher education expenses in your separation agreement. There are three typical scenarios: you specifically addressed higher education expenses in your separation agreement; you agreed to review your financial circumstances when higher education expenses became relevant; or you did not address higher education expenses in your separation agreement.
In the first scenario, which is the ideal case, you specifically addressed higher education expenses in your separation agreement at the time of your divorce. Perhaps you agreed to split the bill equally between the two of you or maybe you used the rule of three: mom pays one third, dad pays one third and the child pays one third. So now the bill is due and you've paid your share (or maybe the entire amount). You ask your ex-spouse for his or her contribution and he or she refuses to pay. What's your remedy? Go to court immediately and file a complaint for contempt against your ex-spouse. Your separation agreement is a legally binding document, a contract, which you've signed on the dotted line and agreed to perform. Your ex-spouse is legally obligated to contribute to these expenses if he or she previously agreed to contribute. Tuition bills are not utility bills; they are thousands of dollars coming out of your pocket. No one should be skirting this bill when there is a court order in place.
In the second scenario, you agreed in your separation agreement to review higher education expenses when they became relevant. (A better and more binding clause would be to agree to meet with a financial planner regarding college costs once the child reaches the age of 14.) Perhaps at the time of divorce your children were toddlers and college was not on the priority list when trying to negotiate a settlement agreement. Your child's acceptance by a college or university quickly makes it a priority for your family. You've spoken to your ex-spouse and he or she refuses to contribute to higher education or to come up with any mutual agreement. There's nothing in your agreement that obligates him or her to pay because you only agreed to review it at the relevant time. What's your remedy? Go to court immediately and file a complaint for modification against your ex-spouse to have the family court decide. You will need to modify your original separation agreement to include a specific plan for how higher education costs will be split. (Parents receiving child support, beware. Massachusetts Child Support Guidelines were updated last year, giving the court "discretion in ordering support and/or college contribution" for children over age 18. The judge can reduce the amount of child support depending on circumstances, including higher education costs. So if you're bringing your ex-spouse back to court to pay for higher education, be on alert for a request to reduce child support.)
In the worst case scenario, your separation agreement fails to address higher education expenses altogether. Your child is heading off to college, the tuition bill is due and your ex-spouse will not even have a conversation with you about contributing to the costs because there is no legal obligation for him or her to do so. What's your remedy? Go to court immediately and file a complaint for modification against your spouse. But your case is not as clear-cut as the scenarios above. Normally, the reason for filing a complaint for modification is a significant material change in circumstances. However, when a separation agreement does not address higher education expenses, the burden is on you to show more than a significant material change in circumstances to alter the original separation agreement. The burden in this scenario is higher and harder to prove.
For those parents going through a divorce now, be sure higher education expenses are addressed in your separation agreement or you could face an uphill battle getting help with bills for higher education in the future. The best case scenario is specifically addressing how these expenses will be paid in your separation agreement.
If you have further questions regarding higher education expenses or you're looking for help in getting the tuition bill paid, contact an experienced family law attorney.
About Attorney Diana M. Sladen
Diana M. Sladen is a senior attorney with Pollack Law Group, P.C. A graduate of Roger Williams University School of Law and Providence College, she is licensed to practice law in Massachusetts, Rhode Island and Connecticut. She can be reached by calling 400-500-3159 or by email at Diana@ThePLGFirm.com.
About Pollack Law Group, P.C.
Pollack Law Group, P.C., represents clients throughout New England on divorce, family law, criminal defense, bankruptcy, personal injury and other legal matters. The firm includes more than two dozen attorneys, paralegals and other staff, working from 20 offices and client meeting locations throughout the region. PLG corporate headquarters are located at 304 Turnpike Road, Southborough, MA, 01772. For more information, call 844-POLLACK or visit www.pollacklawgroup.com
]]>The Commonwealth of Massachusetts requires that divorcing parents of children under age 18 must complete a required parent education program. Additionally, the requirement applies to unmarried parents seeking to establish paternity, modify child custody orders or who are involved in any other court proceeding related to custody, support or visitation of minor children.
]]> When enacting the order, the Probate and Family Court found that "the interests of the minor children of parties appearing before it would be well served by educating their parents about children's emotional needs and the effects of divorce on child behavior and development."Parents must register within 60 days of the service of the original complaint. No pre-trial conference or trial will take place until the court receives a certificate of attendance from each party. In certain circumstances this requirement can be waived.
The court may impose sanctions for failing to register as required. Attendance at a class not approved by the Chief Justice will not fulfil the requirement. Additionally, each parent must attend a different session. There are more than 70 approved programs offered throughout the state.
Parents can find current information about approved classes at the Probate and Family Court website. The list of approved class providers can also be found in the pamphlet, Understanding the Effect of Divorce on Children, a copy of which must be given to each parent either by his or her attorney or by the court upon serving of the complaint for divorce.
The class currently costs $80.00 each. Parents can request a fee reduction by filing an Affidavit of Indigency.
]]>The writer goes on to say that this is tantamount to disability discrimination, something that is illegal in the U.S. Moreover, the presence or absence of a disability does not determine who is a good parent. Decisions about child custody and parenting time should be made based on an assessment of the best interests of the child and not on whether or not a parent has a documented disability.
The Massachusetts Joint Committee on the Judiciary took up a bill that would prohibit discrimination in family law and child welfare matters. The bill received wide support from the disability community and a variety of experts appeared at a hearing to testify about the benefits of the bill. However, despite this, the bill was essentially killed for the current legislative session.
Other states have passed laws similar to HR1379. These include Idaho, Missouri, Kansas, Tennessee, Oregon and Washington. In order to join the ranks of these other states, the Commonwealth will need to take up the bill again to end discrimination against disabled parents.
]]>There is a lot written about preparing young children for divorce and helping them get through it, including in this blog. What receives less attention is what happens to adult children whose parents divorce. Given that there is a mini-epidemic in so-called gray divorce, it makes sense to look at what happens to adult children when their parents divorce.
Family law attorneys report that their older clients seldom think about the impact of a divorce on their grown-up children. And they are often surprised to hear that it is sometimes more traumatic for older children, whose notions of their parents are well-established, than for young children who have not had time to form opinions. There are all kinds of problems that parents who want to get divorced often overlook but that are very important to their children.
]]> These include things like family holidays, graduations and weddings. Meeting the new boyfriend or girlfriend of one's AARP-eligible parents can be a real shock. Whatever the individual difficulties that result in problems for the adult children of divorce, it may take as long as two years before the children are able to move on and let their parents do what they want. Even worse, friends, therapists and even the parents themselves can be very unsupportive.Because there is often no one to validate their intense feelings, adult children often become convinced that there is something wrong with them for caring about their parents' divorce. They tend to not seek counselling to help themselves deal with their feelings because so many people are telling them to get over it.
There are other downsides to gray divorce from an adult child's perspective is that legal fees can mount up, especially in a hotly contested divorce. This many mean that parents are unable to pay for thing such as college, big weddings, down payments or other things they may have promised when divorce was not part of the landscape. It could also jeopardize an adult child's inheritance if parents remarry into new families.
When you think about it, it's not surprising that adult children often have difficulty with their parents' divorces. The parent-child relationship is changed and the family they grew up in is gone. They need time to grieve before they can move on.
Source: Yahoo Health, "Why It's So Hard for Adults When Their Parents Divorce?" Jul. 30, 2014.
]]>Although their numbers are not as dramatic, states with relatively low divorce rates in 1990 were even lower in 2011. For example, Connecticut and Massachusetts, states with rates of 3.2 percent and 2.8 percent (per thousand) both saw a decline of .1 percent decline between 1990 and 2011. It's a small number, but one that's still going down.
Why the low Massachusetts diuvorce rate?
Pundits point to several reasons for the low divorce rate in Massachusetts. In no particular order, some of these reasons are:
-A large number of people who are Roman Catholics, who have the lowest divorce rate among the major religions in the United States
-A large number of people who get married later in life, reducing their risk of divorce
-Relative wealth and high education levels, both of which mitigate against divorce
-Large percentage of people who never get married, which means that they never get divorced
Mass. towns with not-so-low rates
Despite the low state-wide rate, there are towns and cities in Massachusetts that have much higher divorce rates than the state overall. According to an article in the Worcester Telegram, Central Massachusetts towns in this category include:
-Belchertown
-Spencer
-Gardner
-Brockton
-Haverhill
-Shirley
-Hopkinton
-Fitchburg
-Southbridge
-Clinton
-Ayer
-Winchendon
-Baldwinville
-Athol
-North Brookfield
-Webster
-Barre
-Groton
-Townsend
Clearly, living in Massachusetts does not mean that you won't get divorced. However, unless you live in one of these towns, your chances are definitely less than those of someone living in another state.
Source: Worcester.com, "Central Mass Towns with the Highest Divorce Rates," Apr. 1, 2013.
]]>When a divorce involves children, parents must be able to communicate, except in the rare occasions when there has been abuse that prevents one parent from seeing his or her children. Baring this, you are forever connected to your ex-spouse by your children. Although you are no longer married, you are now co-parents. What follows are some thoughts about co-parenting from a divorced dad writing in the Huffington Post.
]]> The trick is to put the emotion away. Of course, this is easier said than done. However, as time goes by, you will begin to deal with your former spouse the way you deal with a cousin or co-worker, friendly but businesslike. This is what is needed as the two of you negotiate things like school projects, medical appointments, and who goes to soccer games.A known cause of divorce is poor communication. Once you are divorced, it's important to try to rekindle those communication skills as you work together to parent your joint children. This is critical if you want to prevent your kids from being damaged, not just by the divorce itself, but by what happens after. You need to be able to make decisions together about your kids with as little drama, recrimination and heat as possible. You don't want to make your children relive the pain of the divorce.
Here's the thing: You are never totally over your divorce if you have children together. However, it's not about you, it's about your children. So don't bad-mouth your ex in front of the kids. Don't quiz them about who mommy or daddy is dating. Don't complain that you are not receiving enough child support or alimony, or are paying too much, in front of them. If that is truly the case, go back to court.
Your ex-spouse is not the enemy if you have kids, however difficult the relationship was and continues to be. Being a co-parent after divorce is not about winning or losing. It's about both of you being there for your kids 100 percent of the time.
Huffington Post, "Get Into Your Divorce, Because You'll Never Get Over It," Jul. 9, 2014.
]]>Divorce among older people is booming. The divorce rate for adults over 50 doubled between 1990 and 2010. In 2010, 15 percent of women and 11 percent of men were divorced, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Sometimes called gray divorce, the breakup of longstanding marriages has grown as members of the baby boom generation have aged.
Because older people are more likely to have significant assets to divide when they divorce, being financially savvy is especially important to this cohort. Unfortunately, women especially have problems in this area, especially when it comes to dividing the retirement accounts of their spouses.
Divorcing men and women sometimes fight about the most trivial things at a time when they should focus on the really valuable assets, such as 401K accounts and IRAs.
A recent survey by the Securian Financial Group showed that many people who divorced after 10 years of marriage did not claim a share of their spouses' retirement benefits and did not even know that they were eligible to do so. What they don't know is that everything acquired during a marriage is eligible to be divided equitably, including retirement accounts.
It doesn't matter who "owns" the property, except if it was acquired before the marriage, or was a gift or inheritance during the marriage.
To obtain your share of the retirement assets, you will need an attorney to help you develop a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO). A QDRO protects both parties from owning taxes when retirement funds are transferred.
]]> Other things women especially should know about in addition to their eligibility for their spouses' retirement accounts:· A financial planner can really help after a divorce. You may even want a financial investigator, known as a forensic accountant, to help figure out where your spouse was putting his money.
· Don't fight to keep the house at the expense of the retirement assets. It is better financially to sell the house and split the proceeds and also split the retirement benefits. The house will need maintenance, so it is better to focus on the assets that do not require additional investment.
· Don't succumb to the temptation to raid your share of the retirement account - you will almost certainly need to pay taxes on the money you receive.
· Try to get the Roth IRA or Roth 401k rather than the traditional IRA, because you will pay taxes on a traditional IRA in retirement.
·Rather than fighting about alimony, go for the retirement assets. Alimony is taxable, and with recent changes in Massachusetts alimony laws, the amount and duration of the alimony are not usually that great.
· Watch out for Social Security. If you are over 62 and were married for at least 10 years, you may be eligible for up to half of your spouse's Social Security retirement or disability benefit - even if he has remarried. However, if you remarry, you probably cannot collect his Social Security until after your subsequent marriage ends because of divorce, annulment or death.
If you are an older women considering or in the midst of divorce, it's important to educate yourself about your spouse's retirement benefits. It's an investment of time that will almost certainly pay off.
]]>