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Parenting plan pitfalls following a Boston divorce

Divorce is not a pleasant experience even when the decision to end a marriage is mutual, which is often not the case. Many Boston spouses leave a marriage with hard feelings toward an ex. Every ex-spouse has a right to those feelings, although some divorced parents transfer these emotions into actions involving children.

Consequently, adult emotions can undermine agreements involving child custody and support and parenting plans. Equally important is the impact a parental disagreement has on children. Children do not want to be caught in the middle of a dispute between the two people they love most nor do they deserve to be.

Some Massachusetts exes attempt to manipulate post-divorce conditions through behaviors toward a former spouse and children. Late pickups or delivery of children during visitations, no-show visitations, failure to supply full support payments and other refusals to adhere to agreements are common. The actions are typically emotion based – post-marital acts of revenge.

Former spouses may stage verbal battles in front of kids. In some cases, parents openly criticize exes in the presence of children. In the quest to harm an ex-spouse, a troubled parent also causes collateral damage to children who already are dealing with a major life change caused by their parents' divorce.

You may not feel an ex is worthy of kind words or respect, but think again. To children, particularly young children, parents are the center of a small universe. The love they have for parents doesn't change because of separation or divorce, even if adults feelings have changed.

Parents are advised to place child-raising responsibilities over negative feelings toward an ex. This is by no means an easy task in some cases, but it is an essential one for children to cope with adult decisions that have changed their lives.

Cooperation is two-sided. An attorney can help if issues involving an ex-spouse have crossed legal boundaries.

Source: The Huffington Post, "My Co-Parent Won't See Our 4-Year-Old Because He Hates My New Boyfriend" Samantha Rodman, Mar. 02, 2015

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